The Internet Knights

[Raven]

The next morning, refreshed and enthusiastic, the knights gathered in the Great Hall.



'I was wondering,' said Silver Knight, 'Now that we are Real Knights, what do we do?'

'I would like to look after the flower garden,' said Green Knight.



'We kill dragons,' said Tough Knight.

'Oh no!' said Knight of Worry, 'I would be scared of dragons!'

'We could rescue damsels in distress,' suggested Happy Knight.

'I'd like to do that,' said Knight of Worry, 'though I don't suppose I'd be any good at it.'



'Where do we find damsels in distress?' wondered Silver Knight.

'We ride out to look for them,' said Knight of Action.

[Raven]

'Do you have a car big enough for all of us?' asked Green Knight.

'Oh we don't travel by car,' said Knight of Action, 'We are Real Knights now.  And real knights ride.'



'I don't know how to ride,' said Green Knight.

'And I'm scared of horses,' said Knight of Worry.

'Can anyone here ride?' asked Knight of Action.

'I can.  Of course.' said Tough Knight.

'Good,' said Knight of Action.  I'll arrange riding lessons for everyone else.  You'll find that the mounts I've bought are quite easy to ride.  Come and see them.'

[Raven]

And when they saw them, the knights shouted with delight.

Well, except for one knight.



'I am NOT riding a unicorn,' stated Tough Knight, 'I want a horse to ride.'

'OK,' said Knight of Action. 'I'll get you a horse.'



'And while I'm about it,' said Knight of Action, 'I'll get you a proper bed too.  You can't continue to sleep on the sofa, and the bedroom's blue bed that I got for you won't fit in with the decor in the Great Hall.'



'If we move things along here, there will be room for a bed,' said Silver Knight.

[Raven]

Tough Knight's new bed arrived the next day.



'Oh no,' groaned Tough Knight, 'It's pink.  I hate pink.'



'But it's lovely and comfortable,' said Knight of Action, 'I'm sure that you will grow to like it.  Let's go to the stables now, though, because your new horse has arrived too.'



'Here she is!' said Knight of Action, 'Isn't she beautiful!'

Tough Knight just made a despairing moaning sound.

[Raven]

The riding lessons began quite chaotically.



But unicorns are not difficult to ride, and the riding instructor soon had the knights organised.



Tough Knight was bored though.  And still cross.

[Raven]

Soon after this, however, a sad thing happened.  The castle mascot, Sweetie the cat, disappeared.

The knights (with the exception of Tough Knight) were distraught.

'Try not to worry,' said Knight of Action, 'I'll make posters: "Lost: Beautiful Feline Castle Mascot" and we'll put them everywhere.'



And this they did, but many many anxious days passed before somebody came to the castle door.

'I think I know where your cat is, sir,' said the little boy, 'There is a dragon who lives amongst the Area of the Brown Rocks, and I saw him going there, carrying a cat just like yours.'



Wasting no time, the knights rode forth to look for Sweetie.

[Raven]

'We'll slay the dragon,' said Tough Knight.



And suddenly, rounding the corner, there was the dragon in front of them!

'Kill!' cried Tough Knight, 'Death to the cat thief!'



'No, no, please don't hurt me!' pleaded the dragon, jumping higher, out of the way.

'Kill!' repeated Tough Knight.

[Raven]

'Hey, hang on,' said Knight of Action, 'It's only a baby.

'It's got a weapon in its claw!' said Tough Knight.



'It's just a torch, see,' said the dragon.

'What is your name, little one?' asked Knight of Action.

'Cuddles,' said the dragon.



'Well, Cuddles,' said Knight of Action, 'We've heard that you stole our little Sweetie cat, so we've come to take her back.'

'No!' wailed Cuddles, 'You can't do that!  I won't let you!'

[Raven]

But Knight of Action pressed forwards.



'Sweetie!' he cried, 'You've got kittens!'



'Now, Cuddles,' he said, 'We must take Sweetie and her family back home to our castle.'



'Nooooooo!' screamed Cuddles, 'I love her! And I was so lonely before I found her!  I'll die of loneliness without her company!'

'Oh, the poor thing,' said Happy Knight, 'Let's take Cuddles home with us too.'

[Raven]

'Yes,' agreed Green Knight, 'And he will be so useful for helping us light the barbeque.'

'I'd be happy to help you with everything,' said Cuddles, 'though I don't eat meat myself.  I'm vegetarian.'



'Surely a growing dragon will cost a lot of money to keep in milk and cheese and eggs,' murmered Knight of Worry.



'But I'd be happy to contribute,' said Cuddles.

'Look! I've got a cow.'



'What is she called?' asked Happy Knight.

'Mummy,' said Cuddles.