Act 3
The chairs gameSeveral hours of hard work and labour were getting close to their end when the last pieces of luggage were being brought to the truck for loading. Mr. Perkins was giving instructions and running from one place to the next checking and double-checking every single little detail while everyone else was doing their own chores.
Apart from the few mishaps from the day before, everything was going according to plan. Well…almost everything.
-Mr Perkins is all all-right and ready to go?
-It seems so Ma’am. We are just expecting the arrival of the rest of the family.
-Good. I’ll go in the car with Math…
-Hey K!- Lily shouted from the stone steps interrupting her grandmother.
-Don’t call me like that, Lillian! - She answered annoyed. -You know I don’t like it. - She added frowning.
-OK OK! Good morning Grandma! – Lily said with resignation.
-Good morning dear. How are you?
-I’m fine, Grandma, and very excited. Mom is a little stressed out though.
-Oh! It looks like you are ready! - She said changing the subject and giving a look of surprise to the truck with the luggage. –You didn’t forget anything, did you? Maybe the bathroom tiles…or the pond? -She asked in a sarcastic tone and rolling up her eyes to show her disapproval while asking a silent question to the Heavens above; “when did she go this coo-coo?” – Grandma, haven’t you heard of travelling light?
-Don’t be silly dear, of course I have heard of that! That’s exactly why I am not taking the tiles nor the pond.
Lily rolled up her eyes once more, this time her silent question was “are you kidding me?”
-If everything is ready the truck can leave Perkins. Make sure Robert gets to Villa Alina before the rest of us do.
-Yes Ma’am
Robert got in the truck and started driving away. Mr. Perkins signalled him and showed him the way out of the gates.
- I’m now only missing my own daughters- Mrs. Van der Hess said to no one in particular. -If they keep me waiting I’ll send them at the back of the truck like a common piece of luggage and … Oh! Here they are! My sweet ones!
-Good morning mother- They said together.
-Good AFTERNOON you might say. You are unfashionably late!
-I am sorry mother- Said Lady Caroline. -But I couldn’t make Constance pick up her outfit any faster. Thank goodness the men had already left!
-What ARE you wearing dearest? Where do you think we are going? – She asked Constance in the most condescending way.
-I wanted to look good to ride with you in the car Grandma. So people who sees me passing by, would want to wave goodbye and envy me! – She said dreamily. - I just can’t wait!
-Well dear you’ll have to … wait, WHAT?? What do you mean the men had already left Caroline? Where did they go?
-To the beach house of course.
-But they were not invited! I made that very clear in my note! WHERE IS PERKINS? – He was standing next to the maids but she was so blindly mad at him that he must have looked like a flowerpot to her. He did nothing to change that, and pretended to be a rosebush.
-This was going to be a Ladies-Only Vacation. – Mrs Van der Hess continued. -Why wasn’t I informed? Who invited them without my consent? Oh I am about to faint. Please someone grab me!!
Mr. Perkins appeared out of nowhere holding a chair and put it right under the Countess the instant she began to fall.
-Are you all right Ma’am?
-I would be better if you had chosen a more cushioned chair Perkins! I will deal with you later!
-Oh mother! Don’t be so dramatic! You invited the family, didn’t you?
-Dramatic? Dram…how can you say that to me? And to my face?!! You have stabbed a dagger right through my heart dearest Marianne. Dramatic! What a nerve! Realistic you must say!! I meant to invite MY family. That means my daughters and their children. The men are YOUR burden, not MINE.
-What about Geoffrey? He is your grandson too. – Constance pointed out.
-Yes… but he is a man already, and quite hairy, smelly and disgusting just like his father. Anyway…how did they go?
-They took Geoffrey’s new sports car.
- You let my poor sweet baby Geoffrey go with those APES in his new car? And Geoffrey was driving? Oh dear Lord! I swear: if Mr. Perkins had a more cushioned chair I would faint again. -She said watching Perkins with disapproval.
-Oh Grandma… Come on! Breath…we will all have fun! And the men can stay at the guest house.-Lily said.
-Come on Grandma, the car is so splendid that I can’t wait to get in it. -Said Constance excited.
-Well, I am sorry to tell you dear Constance, that for you get in that car, I must be six feet under.
-But…- She started to complain.
-How long will that take? Lily asked humorously.
-Enough girls! … I must say, I should have never encouraged your mothers to teach, you girls, to speak!
The girls looked at each other in an, it’s-not-important-what-we-say-but-what-we-think-of-you, sort of way.
- We must leave now girls. Come on, it is getting late!
-But Ma’am excuse me, we are still waiting for….
-Everyone’s here and that’s it. - She said raising her voice. -We leave now. Mathew will drive me and Mrs. Tuttle in the town car…. And you my dears will have to take the carriage.
-WHAT?!?!?!? Why the carriage? It will take us two days to get there- They all complained at the same time.
-If that’s so, the sooner you get in, the sooner you’ll get there!
-Can we at least use the Official one? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaase!!- Constance begged.
-Oh how did you grow up so snobbish, my dear? -
-You fostered me. - She joked.
-Oh! Constance! Yes, you’ll be driven in the Official one … but only with two horses … four would be just showing off…too much. She added. -Ta ta! See you later.
“See you later? All we must do to be in her WILL” They thought while they look in disbelief how she got into the car so carefree. Their faces turned into grimaces of disdain and resent, ignoring that eighteen hours later those feelings would go further south to turn into “pain and sore”.
As the last maids standing by the stairs run to the main house singing merrily “Now we are free, the old bat left, drink all the Whisky and leave the rest”, Perkins stood looking at the distant cars.
Mournfully he thought: “Wasn’t I supposed to be in one of those?” And then he just began to walk.
End of Act 3
