The Ballad of Ladyarms Luke and Gentleman George Episode Xa: Playtuga

[Martin Milner]

After several adventures , alarums and mishaps (see episodes 7-9, not yet published), Ladyarms Luke, Gentleman George and their companions arrive at the pirate Haven of Playtuga. 



Aah, Playtuga. What more need be said about this most famous town? The seagulls and monkeys down by the harbor, the smell of fresh vomit and urine in the back alleys at night, the screams of the unwary having their purses stolen and their throats slashed... it is a heady mix of sights, sounds, smells, and if you don't watch your feet, textures (especially smells though, sorry about that). There is nothing under the searing Carribbean sun to be bought and sold, fenced or stolen that cannot be found in Playtuga... for a price. Those monkeys don't smell too fresh either btw.



The eclectic mix of soldiers and sailors, tourists and traders, vagabonds and vermin make for a rich backdrop to this unexpectedly numbered episode.
 


Come closer, dear reader, come closer as we follow our heroes further into town, and please refrain from posting comments until you see the words "you may now post comments".  Not the ones you just read, I mean the next time. Thanks.

[Martin Milner]

Red Rackham's Playtuga Palace of Pets is known throughout the Carribbean as the place to supply all your piratical pet needs.



Peacocks, Penguins, Parrots, Vultures, Monkeys, Chimpanzees, Leopards, Kangaroos and Seahorses, he has them all, and the necessary food, bedding, perches and houses to ensure your pet feeds and feels like a prince.



Red's special offer this week is parrots, and the most colorful plumage and intelligent backchat is available at a very reasonable price (all refunds or exchanges within 30 days, and must be accompanied by a receipt)



The warranty on this Norwegian Blue has unfortunately expired, and Red's assistant is having as little trouble with an unruly customer.



Red spots Hakim, and comes down to serve him personally.



Red: Good day, Sir, and what a fine day for a pet-related purchase. Are you looking for a new pet today, or something for your monkey?

Hakim: Nuts.

Red: I beg your General McAuliffe?

Hakim: Nuts. I need nuts for my monkey.

Red: Ah, I understand now. We stock the finest monkey nuts, freshly hand-picked every day by dusky maidens on nearby Monkey Island, and shipped to Playtuga with the utmost dispatch. 

Hakim: I'll take 5 pounds.



Clutching his purchase, and with the odd feeling that he is being followed, Hakim returns to the party's agreed rendezvous to await the others.